Iced Windows Beyond Cool

Welcome to my kitchen or rather to my kitchen balcony. These icy patterns were etched onto my balcony window this past winter. The top design appears inspired by the Greek goddess, Medusa, with her hair of live, venomous snakes. (Wonder if Martha Stewart has such exquisite vipers on HER kitchen window?)The lower design is like delicate paisley even more beautiful, if that's possible, than the paisley patterns of the 60's. Exquisite, breath-taking and... brrr...let's get back inside where it's warm!

Will Wag, Woof or Work for Food

"Help the dog with food," the sign reads. A dachshund -- perhaps Dasha the Dachshund -- dressed as a Russian babyshka, begs for food on a busy street corner in Rostov-on-Don.

Congratulations Lance and Debra

Lance and Debra, married March 3rd at Prestoncrest Church of Christ, Dallas. They serve in Mariopol, Ukraine, where Lance helped start Jeremiah's Hope, a program and ministry that helps orphanage graduates make the transition from institution to adult life. Lance and Debra hope to return to the Ukraine and continue their ministry. Congratulations Lance and Debra and may the good Lord grant you many years of service.

Catch Yourself a Bridal Bouquet: Tips from a Pro

Let the record show that on March 3, 2007 following the nupitals of Lance Atchison and Debra Reymundo, I caught the bridal bouquet. This was not the first bouquet that I’ve caught. Nor was it the second, third or fourth. It wasn’t even the fifth, sixth or seventh. It honestly, truly was. . . Bouquet #8. In lieu of a drum roll, please hum the Wedding March.

My career as a bouquet catcher was launched summer of ‘68 when Carol Gregory heaved a massive confection of daisies and mums over her shoulder. In the years that followed, my career blossomed, so to speak, through the weddings of those older than me, my peers and now. . . at the weddings those considerably younger. Reflecting on such a career I realize that failing to pass along my strategies would be a disservice to the next generation. Indeed, the time has come to spill the beans.

Now, for the first time, I share my top tips on getting that bouquet: Think location, location, location. Position yourself front row, center. Be prepared to leap right or left, high or wide. Usually the bride will throw the bouquet up into a high arc. During the descent, you’ll have time to reposition yourself for the grab. Diving for the bouquet is acceptable but do make every effort to land on your feet. The alternative is somewhat less becoming.

Next, analyze the competition. Ever so casually, glean information as to the intent of the competition. Most often they will be giggly self consciously and claiming disinterest. But don’t be fooled. Under no circumstances should you mention your intentions. Or your successes in the field. There are those who – once they catch a whiff of competition – become fierce opponents. Take it from me, a wedding reception is neither the time nor the place for a slug fest. For one thing, it scares potential suitors. And then there’s the issue of the photographer with camera ready. But I digress. Bottom line: ears open, lips sealed.

Those two tips are simple but they have served me through five decades of bouquet catchery. Come to think of it, catching a bridal bouquet is considerably easier than catching a spouse. Perhaps someone else will tell us how to Google for a groom.


Above: With David Woodward and Bouquet #8

Shattering the Glass. . .Window

Thank goodness for merciful thieves, I said to myself as I surveyed the damage to my car. It was a rental car, a PT Cruiser – vanilla in color, to be exact– that I had picked up the previous week in San Francisco and had planned to drop off in San Diego before heading back to Dallas in a few minutes.

It was early Monday morning and I was booked on a 10:30 flight but now that was looking iffy. Overnight someone had bashed in the driver’s side window on my rental car and ran off with all contents of the vehicle – my red suitcase and black trench coat – except for one very special item. My autographed copy of the book, Shovel It!

Earlier that weekend, Eva Shaw, my beloved writing mentor and her husband Joe agreed to meet me at the Barnes and Nobles in Oceanside. Eva is a renowned author – 60-some books, 600-some magazine articles and she mentors hundreds of writer-wanna-be’s through Ed2Go, an online education program. Over the years, I’ve taken several writing courses with Eva and was thrilled to bits that she might take time to meet me. I brought her a little souvenir from Russia and she surprised me with a copy of Shovel It!, one of her best sellers. And now, surveying the book in the back of the car I had to smile. The thief had some compassion, after all.

But the driver’s side was covered with shards of glass. It was clear that I wouldn’t be going anywhere any time soon. But what to do? Where to start? I knew enough to stop and send an SOS prayer for help-help-help! And let me tell you, prayer does make a difference.

So first, to the hotel office. The motel desk clerk allowed me to take over more and more of the front desk as my personal office area. There I had access to the hotel telephone and a high-speed internet connection. There were calls back and forth to the rental company – to the local office, to roadside assistance, to the San Francisco office. There were multiple calls to the San Diego police department and to American Airlines.

As time went on, about 3 hours, waiting for calls, back and forth, motel staff gathered around the security video screen watching playback of overnight break-ins, to vending machine, other vehicles and such. Other staff, in the course of tidying up the premises, had come across various items, discarded by the thieves. Someone emerged with my red suitcase, found abandoned. I noticed that my blow dryer was missing from that. Later someone else emerged with a plastic bag and more of my things, found abandoned up on 4^th floor --- exercise DVDs, my blow drier. Yeah!

Fortunately, my valuables – laptop, passport and favorite clothes – were with me upstairs. There were many other blessings: American Airlines had several other flights to Dallas that day, so no problem re-booking. I didn’t have to worry about returning the rental car – it got towed away. The hotel staff chauffeured me to the airport – for a reduced rate. And I got most of my stuff back.

What lessons did I learn? Anything visible to a potential thief looks interesting. In this case, through the hatchback, the thief could see a piece of luggage. To me it looked like nothing. The thief thought otherwise. Keep luggage out of sight. I also learned that it was nothing personal – the thief most likely was looking for quick cash and had the decency to leave my stuff basically intact. And the thief showed mercy. Or. . . maybe he was illiterate. Anyway, I left California with Shovel It! in my suitcase, my most treasured souvenir.