Saturday, August 09, 2008

How to Attract Males: Rostov Bank Tells All

I keep an eye on this billboard because, for one thing, I like the Soviet Era Nostalgia art: It's enlightening and it offers a peek into the Soviet soul. You may recall earlier posts about Husbands, Pilots and Credit and then Ice Cream, Bread and Banking. I learn things from this billboard. Things that can help me in my own life.

Here she is, a young lady overlooking the Don steppe, standing by a vehicle, surveying the vast prairie. Looking for adventure? Waiting for a handsome Cossack to gallop closer? Let's find out.

Top lines: Would you like to be attractive to men? Now that's a silly question. Like, Is Putin Orthodox? Or Do Russians care for sunflower seeds? It's a given. So let's continue.

Oopsie, where did our ad go? Here's something about the Intourist Hotel. Quite a nice place to stay, by the way, overlooking the Don River. Not the most economical place in town (cough, cough) but certainly elegant with an dreamy view of the Don River.

Speaking of dreamy views, there's a gentleman heading this way. Mercy me, is the billboard working its magic already? Could there be a connection between merely reading about attracting a man and just like that a fellow starts in my direction? Let's include him in the picture just in case he's Prince Charming. He's clad in white, after all, and his white horse - well, it could be tied up back at the Intourist.

But hold on, hold on. Okay, our sign has spun around to our girl. Lets learn more while Prince Charming is still in the picture. There's bound to be a connection there somehow.

He's coming closer, closer. And we need to zoom in. . .we're zoom, zoom, zooming on in there. . .

Top two lines: Want to be attractive to men?
Third line: Get credit,
Fourth line: Buy a car.

Well there you go. Who would have guessed it would be so easy? Thank you SKB bank. One can only imagine the amount of research, data analysis and such that went into arriving at that conclusion.

So where has my Russian Cossack in white gone? He seems to have walked right out of the picture. Or maybe he's waiting for me at the bank. . .


Tammy said...

You have some of the GREATEST blog entries!! They crack me up! (And thanks for the tip on catching a man!) Tammy

Anonymous said...

I must admit that a car can, in fact, help "make the woman," as that Rostov advertisement shrewdly implies:

For instance, there's always a chance that I might have looked past my wife's sparkling blue eyes and lovely blonde hair had she not been idling before me at a smalltown, midwestern stoplight one torrid summer afternoon, impishly peering into the rear-view mirror of her brand-new convertible, a gold metal-flake 1964 Chevrolet Impala.

Obviously the woman was attracted to me in part because of her admiration for my sleek, midnight-black, 3,500 ruble Zaporozhets-968, for our chance encounter ultimately proved love at first-sight....

(Just kidding about the Zaporozhets.)

Eileen said...

Hey there anonymous - so where did you get a Zaporozhets-968 for 3,500 rubles (now $100?) In the mid west now less. =) You must be a car enthusiast - but pray tell, what on is Zaporozhets?