Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Duty Free and a Whole Lot More

I was leafing through the duty free catalogue on a recent flight to Moscow and soon realized that some of the product descriptions were too good not to be shared. In fact, maybe you’ve been searching for one of these products.

*Dior Detective Chic Gloss Palette: Discover Dior new lipgloss palette. . .for a lip-plumping effect on your lips. A must-have which will seduce fashion victims as well as gift-seekers! (Know any fashion victim wanna-be’s?)

*Baldessarini Ambre: (This is) the new luxury fragrance of Baldessarini, which takes its place in the seduction territory of the brand. (This seduction territory – charted territory or not?)

*Valentino Rock n’ Rose: Living your live by combining a rock and roll attitude with an ingenuous and girly behavior. (A little bit o’ Elvis, a little bit o’ Spice Girls together in one potent mix.)

*Travel Duo Volumizing Mascara: Yves Saint Laurent’s best-selling mascara, indispensable for a deep look without a hint of artifice. (“. . . she looked up at him and her eyes met his in a look quite different from any he could recall, a deep, penetrating look and not a hint of artifice. He knew that he had blown it. He refilled her water, measured out her oats and determined never again to trust the kid next door to feed Lady when he was gone. ”)

*Armani Code Donna: Wear Armani code is like an embroidery fashioned on your very skin, like a secret code of seduction. Orange blossom is the fragrance’s guiding light. Around Orange Blossom absolute, fragrant embroideries of bigarade orange and ginger, jasmine, precious woods and a touch of honey. (In lieu of that next tattoo, consider an embroidery on your skin.)

*Kenzo Ki, Ice Cold Eye Cream: Watch out eyes – Eskimo cream ahead. To vanish puffiness and dark circles and wake up every morning even the sleepiest eyes. . . (Eskimo cream ahead – if this is ice cream. I’ll take a scoop for each eye, two if it comes in mint chocolate chip.)

*Euphoria Blossom for Women: …inspired by the exquisite aura of a flower about to bloom. A fresh alluring fragrance that captivates the senses with a natural heart of white orchid and dewy blossoms with watery fruits. (Ooh la la – those watery fruits are so appealing -- so a peeling – let’s try the eau de watermelon.)

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Duty free wasn’t the only thing interesting on the flight. I saw an air sickness bag used in a most creative way.

Half-way into the flight, a mother with a little boy came back and joined me on the exit row seats. Her little blond and I were already buddies, having played peek-a-boo over the seat throughout the flight. But he was getting restless, needing some wiggle room and so they came on back for more space. We had a nice visit. They had been in Kiev and were heading through Moscow on their way home to Vladivostock, a major port city on the east coast of Russia, eight time zones east. They had a whole day of flying ahead of them.

Soon we were approaching Moscow and it was time to fasten seatbelts. As we were making our final approach, the little guy decided he needed to GO but a trip to the toilet was out of the question. Quick as a wink, the mother grabbed an air sickness bag and helped the little tyke relieve himself into it. Then she sealed up the bag properly and handed it off to boy’s grandmother in the row ahead of us.

I said something about the scene, which I found quite amusing, especially the matter-of-fact way in which she managed the problem.

It’s just too hot for him to wear Pampers today, so what can you do?
she said. Children are children.

Well I must say, that little performance was even more powerful than the Kenzo Ki eye cream claim to wake up even the sleepiest of eyes. And like the Rock and Rose ad, it was ingenious – but certainly not girlybehavior.

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